If you’ve got a Spanish boyfriend, be careful how you introduce him to people. While we start calling our romantic liaisons ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ from the first date onwards, in Spain you’re either a friend (amigo/a) or a fiancée (novio/a) with nothing in between. Spanish men can take great exception to being called your novio, unless they’ve actually popped the question.
It used to be easy - boy meets girl, they went out together and then they got married. That might still be the idea you’ve got in your head, but he may well have a different agenda in mind. In a world where marriage lives alongside extra-matrimonial, pre-matrimonial and homosexual relationships we have to look for terms beyond single, engaged and married to describe our current situation.
The word ‘friend’ or ‘amigo’ is rather ambiguous. You might be spending the weekends together, but when people refer to him as your ‘novio’ with all the connotations of wedding bells and diamond rings, you should keep a serious expression on your face. Your friends have all met him, but when you introduce him you can hardly say “Let me introduce you to the man I am sleeping with.” Avoid problems by calling him your ‘friend’ and you’ll save yourself a few arguments.
Other possibles, according to your situation are ‘my guy’ (mi chico), which is all right for the very young or trendy, my partner (mi pareja) or my husband (mi marido) if you actually manage to get him to tie the knot.
Learn to control yourself
Here are three rules to help you keep your temper under control:
*If your partner gets you mad, try and keep your mouth shut for a full minute - just enough time to see things a little more clearly before you blow up
*When he makes a mistake (such as turning up late, forgetting your birthday, etc) try and focus on his good points, not just the bad ones
*Think of the consequences and how you would like things to improve. Jumping up and down like a banshee might be good for letting off steam, but it won’t solve the problem.
A snog a day keeps the plaque away
They say that kissing every day means less visits to the dentists because it stimulates saliva and eliminates food particles from between the teeth. We don’t know if it is good for you to salivate all that much, but the truth is that we all need human contact to feel loved. A good snog is one of the most important ways of feeling connected to your partner and staying happy.
Spoilt for choice
Have you ever been through a sexually ‘dry’ period, when eligible men seem to be extra thin on the ground? Then, the moment you meet someone, every time you turn the corner there seems be someone dying to get off with you.
This is because the sexually active give off greater amounts of pheromones, hormones which attract sexual partners - a typical Catch 22 situation.
Three passion killers
*Going to bed every night with a book might be nice, but when your man sees you lying there in your nylon nightie it’s almost as though you’re wearing a big sign around your neck saying ‘Dream on, dear’. If it happens too often, he may be able to think he’s no longer required, and your sex life may fizzle out.
*Droning on boringly about the weird dream you had last night will send him back to sleep instead of getting him interested in a bit of morning nookie. You might think your dreams are fascinating, but then you were there and he wasn’t.
*Don’t lie on the bed taking off your makeup, cutting your toenails or slapping on face cream. Men are not supposed to know how much gunk we slather onto our faces to make us look this good. They are supposed to believe we are naturally made that way - don’t let him realise you are not a goddess.
Give him a break
If you are happy with your partner and think he’s a great lover, tell him. Your partner loves it when you are enjoying his attentions, so don’t just lie there when you’re having a good time, share the good news.