Instant messaging is a very popular form of contact.
You can Instant Message a friend on the Internet in much the same way you can send a text message to their mobile phone. For Instant Messaging, both parties must agree to use the service. It works much like a chat room, where you swap typed messages more or less instantly. Other people can also be invited to take part.
Unlike chat rooms, Instant Messaging is usually more closely associated with a network of friends. So if strangers were invited in, it would be easy for them to find out things about your child and his or her friends.

Examples of internet and mobile phone text shorthand:

GM How RU? BRB PAW
Good Morning, how are you? I’ll be right back, my parents are watching
HI M8 Btw RU VGL? CU L8er
Hi mate, by the way are you very good looking? See you later
Btw this is a PM! A/S/L?
By the way this is a private message. What's your age, sex and location?
HI M8, you have a Gsoh, ROFL!
Hi mate, you have a good sense of humour. I was rolling on the floor laughing!
GN Enuf 4 2day. WBS
Good night, that's enough for today. I'll write back soon

Gaming

Gaming is one of the most popular reasons for children using the Internet and can involve communication with other gamers, like in a chat room. Therefore all the same principles apply when gaming as when in a chat room and children should avoid using their own name when choosing their 'gaming name' (the name they log on with and play under).
If your children do encounter any difficulties with other gamers, you should refer to the gaming sites' terms of service, which should clearly state ways to report violations.

How should I react to all this?

 "My 13-year-old receives up to 10-30 porn spams a day."
Try not to overreact, especially if your child comes to you with a worry. They could just clam up or start to use the Internet in secret. If, for example you find pornographic spam on your computer system, reassure your child that it is not their fault and keep emphasising the key safety messages.  Although the Internet is a new medium, the safety messages are familiar. Just as you have taught children never to go off with strangers in the real world, so you can teach them here.

Should I move the computer?

If possible, it is an excellent idea to keep it in a family room. (Although this might not be realistic for teenagers, who guard their privacy!) but this is not possible for mobile phones. This underlines the importance of making sure your child understands the safety rules and continuing to talk to them about how they use the Internet.

Can unsuitable material be blocked?

"What  if you are on the Internet and accidentally click on an advert which directs you to an adult site? Is there any way of filtering these?"
You can get software that blocks or filters the material that comes onto your computer. Some of this software is free, some is included in a broader package of services and you can buy others but remember that savvy teenagers can bypass some filters or use the Internet at a friend's house or Internet cafe. This underlines the fact that there is no substitute for good advice from you.
You can also get software packages that allow you to monitor what your child is doing on the Internet. This section explains what you can use these software packages for.

What software is available?

 "My daughter who is 8 was at a friend's house last weekend and it appears they don't have any filtering like we do."
You will find a very comprehensive list of the protection software available at www.getnetwise.org
This website lists software packages and the features they offer. However, it does not rate how well they work. Many websites offer free trials of software and it is a good idea to try them first to see which is most suitable for your family

What can this software do?

Many software packages combine more than one of the safety features explained in this section. You can use them to:
- Control content
- Control contacts
- Control shopping and pri    vacy
- Help with time manage    ment and health
- Improve general security
- Monitor and record activity.
To find out more about software with any of the safety features above, including examples of software available, visit www.pin.org.uk/filtering.
For advice from a local source contact AMG Computer Centre on the Cabo la Nao Road in Javea. Telephone them on 902 887 168 or email to
info@amg-spain.com.

Your action checklist

Make sure you and your child follow these safety guidelines:
1. NEVER go alone to meet someone you have met online
2. NEVER reveal any personal contact details
3. Talk to your child about their Internet use and take an interest. Your involvement is the best way of keeping them safe.
4. Pass on the safety advice in this article - talk over the 'Safety Tips'.
5. Be positive! The Internet is a fantastic resource for learning, entertainment and communication. Just like in the real world, you need to take a few sensible precautions.
6. Let your child know they can come to you if something they don't like happens online.
7. Try not to overreact! This could simply make your child secretive about their Internet use and close down lines of communication between you.
8. Remember that all the safety advice here also applies to going online with a mobile phone.
If you decide to use software to filter or monitor information from the Internet, talk this over with your child. Then any ground rules you agree will be much more effective.

Ten tips for safety

1. Consider using Internet Filtering software, Walled Gardens and Child Friendly Search Engines. Use your Browser's controls as some offer differing degrees of security for each family member.
2. Check out what child protection services your ISP offers, do they filter for SPAM, for instance? If not, ask them why.
3. Keep the computer in a communal area of the house, where it's easier to monitor what your children are viewing.
4. Tell children not to give out their personal details. If they want to subscribe to any services online, make up a family email address to receive the mail.
5. Kids love to chat, but make sure they only use moderated chatrooms and encourage them to introduce you to their online friends.
6. Encourage your children to tell you if they feel uncomfortable, upset or threatened by anything they see online.
7. Involve your children in writing your own Family Code of acceptable Internet Use. Remember that what's acceptable for a teenager isn't necessarily OK for a primary school-aged child so get their input.
8. Computer kit is expensive so bear in mind that a child with a laptop may be vulnerable when carrying it to and from school.
9. The web's a great resource for homework, but remember to use more than one site in research to get broad, balanced information and ALWAYS reference your research sources.
10. SURF TOGETHER!
Go online with your children and become part of their online life. The key to safe surfing is communication.